Expectation
"What do you expect of yourself?"
A few years back, I would have always set the lowest of the
low expectations for myself because I was a fat shut in that would indulge in
tablespoons of Nutella surfing the internet in all it's cat filled glory.
The result of this prolonged activity? A round ball of
disappointment... Disappointing my friends, family, but more importantly
myself...
Now, let me share something with you. One of the reasons why I had the assumption that I don't deserve any better goes a long
like this.
I had a crush on a girl, let's call her Brunette. Brunette was eating with her friends in the designated lunch area, while I would
watch her from a distance (DONT YOU BE JUDGING MY YOUNGER SELF) playing
handball. Sometimes she would glance over to my area and my face would
instantly flush red despite my dark complexion.
And I don't know whether the planets where aligned perfectly
that day but the heavens smiled upon me. The ball my friend hit was rolling
over into her direction. I knew that this was my moment to make a move. I felt like a BOSS. I
had the expectation that this was the day I could finally talk to this girl and overcome my social anxiety.
The ball had made its way to her lunch box, oh god the joy
of getting Closer to her, made me squeal. But I didn't notice how much momentum
I built up, and I was quickly approaching her. I felt like the boulder from
Indiana Jones.
I tried to halt in order to stop from hurting her. In the
process of braking, I tripped over my left cankle, and landed on top of her.
Instinctively she pushed me away, but what she said after,
was the worst thing I could have imagined. "Why do you have softer boobs
than mine? Are you a girl?"
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
I wanted to better myself, and to do so, I had to change my mindset.
EXPECTATIONS OF 2010
- Gain the ability to see toes
- Run without falling over my cankles
- Be able to make a girl smile
That hair, monochrome style, pose, smile though...
RESULTS FROM 2010
- Gain the ability to see toes CHECKED
- Run without falling over my cankles CHECKED
- Be able to make a girl smile CHECKED
- Recognition as a boy CHECKED
- Socialize with more people CHE--- Work in Progress
So really, I was able to gain more insight in my capabilities of self improvement. Right now, I love the person I've become. Sure I may not be perfect in some ways, but I always strive to improve.
So I leave you with this: I want you to
know that you should always be exceeding your expectations, why? Because you can!
P.S Expect more from me in future :)
- FK
lay-out • image • colors
Expectation
"What do you expect of yourself?"
A few years back, I would have always set the lowest of the
low expectations for myself because I was a fat shut in that would indulge in
tablespoons of Nutella surfing the internet in all it's cat filled glory.
The result of this prolonged activity? A round ball of
disappointment... Disappointing my friends, family, but more importantly
myself...
Now, let me share something with you. One of the reasons why I had the assumption that I don't deserve any better goes a long
like this.
I had a crush on a girl, let's call her Brunette. Brunette was eating with her friends in the designated lunch area, while I would
watch her from a distance (DONT YOU BE JUDGING MY YOUNGER SELF) playing
handball. Sometimes she would glance over to my area and my face would
instantly flush red despite my dark complexion.
And I don't know whether the planets where aligned perfectly
that day but the heavens smiled upon me. The ball my friend hit was rolling
over into her direction. I knew that this was my moment to make a move. I felt like a BOSS. I
had the expectation that this was the day I could finally talk to this girl and overcome my social anxiety.
The ball had made its way to her lunch box, oh god the joy
of getting Closer to her, made me squeal. But I didn't notice how much momentum
I built up, and I was quickly approaching her. I felt like the boulder from
Indiana Jones.
I tried to halt in order to stop from hurting her. In the
process of braking, I tripped over my left cankle, and landed on top of her.
Instinctively she pushed me away, but what she said after,
was the worst thing I could have imagined. "Why do you have softer boobs
than mine? Are you a girl?"
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
I wanted to better myself, and to do so, I had to change my mindset.
EXPECTATIONS OF 2010
- Gain the ability to see toes
- Run without falling over my cankles
- Be able to make a girl smile
That hair, monochrome style, pose, smile though...
RESULTS FROM 2010
- Gain the ability to see toes CHECKED
- Run without falling over my cankles CHECKED
- Be able to make a girl smile CHECKED
- Recognition as a boy CHECKED
- Socialize with more people CHE--- Work in Progress
So really, I was able to gain more insight in my capabilities of self improvement. Right now, I love the person I've become. Sure I may not be perfect in some ways, but I always strive to improve.
So I leave you with this: I want you to
know that you should always be exceeding your expectations, why? Because you can!
P.S Expect more from me in future :)
- FK
lay-out • image • colors
Controler
I am Me. And it won't change.
[ kneel down to the floor, cuz the Loyal Controler is comiiing ]
Hey guys. I'm the Royal Controler in this imaginary world. My name's bening [ or you can call me PERIOD ].
I'm 93452723482318 years old and yet i look like a
toddler 9 year old.
My hometown is Mars, but apparently i'm now in Atlantis, on the way to Bandung, Indonesia. Oh, of COURSE i'm Indonesian.
Actually, I'm born in the 18th of April, but all of a sudden i forgot in what year i was born, so.. yeah.
I DON'T like studying, because it's boring. I HATE wrecked-complicated templates, and.. slow internet. I SUPREMELY HATE worms, because they're slimy and disgusting =.=
BUUU~T i love LOT'S of things too. Example?
PIZZA (definitely), MUSIIIC (awfully in love), BLOGGING (awesomely married), EDITING TEMPLATES (growing old together), SOCIAL (supremely will be dead together), GOD (will be in my heart forever).
Anyways, I'm just plain Me. Not gonna change. Oh, one more thing:
Copycats, Hackers, Spammers, Rippers make me famous.
lay-out • image • colors
